call me wen ur sober
by nomnomnom
Summary: ther iz a new girl at hogwarts her name is lydia n she iz a goffik vampier. she falz n luv wit draco malfoy but demon potter iz gonna steel himn away frm her so wat will she do? a goffik tale of intreague n deseat ok?
1. chap 1

AN: fangz (geddit im a vampier!!!!!!) 2 my bf (i men best frend not boyfrnid kuz im goffik and im a lez dun lik it den deel wid it ok?????) avernth who hlpd me com up wid da story if dis and also fangs 4 da speelin help u rok!!1! alex and amanda thnks 4 makin my sad abis dat I liv in less deprezzin okkkk? luv u and also fob roxxx!!!

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Hi, my name is Lydia D'esdemona Hypnotica Malice Tragedia Nightshade Aesthetica Maleficent Belladonna Deathblood Wentz and I have waist long raven hair with dark blue streaks and orange tips and green eyes that remind people of depressing swamps. People tell me that I look like Amy Lee (AN: if u dunno who dat iz den massage n ill send u a pic also ur dum shez awesume!!!) I'm not related to Pete Wentz but I wish I was because he's a major fucking hottie. I'm a vampire but I also have perfect shiny white normal teeth. I'm pale and white because I'm goth. I'm also a witch and I go to a magic school in England called Hogwarts where I'm in the seventh year and I'm seventeen years old. I wear black because I'm goth, and I enjoy shopping at Hot Topic, what with being a goth. For instance, today I was wearing a black leather corset with a black leather miniskirt with black leather fishnets and black combat boots, leather of course. I was wearing white foundation, black eyeshadow and my pale gothic fingers were painted black with black nail polish. I was walking outside Hogwarts where it was raining and sleeting and snowing and there was no sun, which is good since I'm a vampire and I hate sun because it burns me because I'm a vampire. A bunch of preps stared at me and I stuck my middle finger up at them and they gasped because they had never seen such an act of gothicness.

"Hey Lydia!" shouted a sexy gothic voice. It was… Draco Malfoy!!!!!

"What's up Draco?" I asked.

"Nothing" he said shyly.

But then my friends called for me very gothically and so I had to go.

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AN: plz tel me if itz gud review ok but I h8 flammerz so dun flam ok??? fangz!!!11!!!1!


	2. chap 2

AN: ok guys who iz tara im not her ok??? im mary n not dis tara grl or wuteva. agian fagz 2 avernth n al4x 4 da soellin lessins n da iida 4 da storie ok i luv u guyz muah fangz 2 da kool revwiewers also u guys rok hxc n so duz fob!!!1!! fanggggggz!

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As I entered the castle with my friends, I saw many, many fresh victims. I needed blood, because I'm a gothic vampire. I knew my gothic friends also craved our life force. I saw the best candidates, the girls with pure virgin blood (AN: geddit cos im s lez vamp!!! ). Just the thought of sliding my fangs, white as my pale bloodless pallid sallow pasty sickly goth skin, into a beautiful gothic girl's neck, or even into the neck of a fucking disgusting prep made my gothic mouth, slathered in blood red lipstick, water with pleasure. I couldn't be too obvious, however, as the stupid prep teachers at my school were on the lookout for alternative people like me. They wanted to kill us goths, as all of were vampires, and that is apparently a threat to the other students. I hid my urges until the dark, where my gothic vampire body thrived. In between feedings, I would think about something depressing, like Joel Madden getting Nicole Ritchie pregnant (AN: sickkk u guyz wut a slut y wouyld he evn lik her i mean gorss!!!!!), or my pet crow Lucifer Darkdeath getting hit by a pink preppy trolley pusher on the Hogwarts Express, so that I could cut myself and drink my dark gothic blood, full of sorrow and pain. It momentarily quenches my thirst but soon after I am done drinking from my own gothic body, I hunger for blood more fiercely than before.

I can't clearly remember everything that happened when I became a vampire. All I remember is sitting alone in a dark car on the Hogwarts Express with my best friend Gawfikkka Disturbia Blackness Jones (AN: avernth dats u!!!1!) She was tall and skinny and as gothic looking as I was. She wore a blood red low-cut halter dress that said "I Love GC" all over it in gothic black letters with a pair of gothic black fishnets over a pair of equally gothic blood red tights, which were as red as blood, and also gothic. Over that hosiery she had a pair of very punk/gothic stiletto high heel combat boots, with gothic silver buckles that were shaped like gothic bats on them. I was very goth, with short spiky burgundy hair with gothic black streaks throughout. That day I was wearing a Vans t-shirt with a pair of gothic black leather pants that had the Slipknot logo all over them. On my feet were a pair of limited-edition Fall Out Boy (AN: i luv fob yeaaaaaaa!!!! u guyz rok!!) Converse that had red laces with black pentagrams on them. We were sitting alone in the car, riding to Hogwarts for our first year of magical school. We were afraid, but we pretended not to be, because gothics are never afraid, only depressed. As we sat there, listening to the sound of the train running along the tracks that would lead to our destiny, as well as the sound of the newest Linkin Park cd, the power went out. I was not afraid, as us goths love the dark. But suddenly, Gawfikkka and I heard an unfamiliar sound. It sounded like someone was entering our compartment, and we had no idea who it could be.

"Relax, It's probably just someone coming to fix the lights for those stupid preps who are scared of the dark. It's fine, Lydia," said Gawfikkka.

"Yeah, you're right. I'm just being dumb. I shouldn't be scared. I LOVE THE DARK!" I ejaculated at her face.

Gawfikkka and I then began building a pentagram-shaped fire to worship the Devil with. As we raised our wands (AN: dere n skool so itz ok 4 dem 2 us dere wandz ok???) to light the fire so that our destroyer could protect us from whatever spirits of cuteness and happy fun times were floating about on the train, we realized that we didn't know the spell to make fire. Instead, we rubbed our wands together (AN: ew not n dat way u sickos!!!!!) to start a fire. We reached to place the fire from our wands onto another wand so that our wands wouldn't burn up and not work, but as we reached, a miraculous dark wind blew out our wands, leaving us fireless. We gave the wand thing another try, and as we reached, Gawfikkka gasped! I looked up, and saw a super sexy gothic boy next to me, with super sexy gothic black hair that framed his blood red eyes perfectly and gothically. (AN: i wush i had a grl dat lukd lyk dis lol dun u u guyz??????) The next thing I knew, I woke up in the Infirmary next to Gawfikkka, with blood smeared on my shirt. I looked up at Gawfikkka's face, and noticed that her whole neck was smeared with beautiful, coppery plasma and blood cells. It was if I got some weird sexual urge to lick her face clean. I could almost swear that I could see the blood cells individually move on her face. I smelled it in the air, like the sweetest Amy Brown body mist from Hot Topic. Only feeling a little weak in the knees, I went to the mirror to redo my thick black gothic eyeliner and gasped quite gothically as I saw that I had no reflection in the mirror. Only then did I realize that this sexy, gothiclicious mystery boy who I had seen on the train must have infected me. I had become … A VAMPIRE!!!!!

Anyway.

I was walking gothically and angstily through the corridors, seriously hungering for some delicious warm blood in my mouth. I however had to wait until dark, so I climbed into my coffin for some gothic beauty sleep before the veil of darkness crept over Hogwarts, when I could finally feed upon the pathetic preps that made fun of my friends and I endlessly. I would turn them, making them gothic vampires as well. (AN: no she duznt gfo 2 da grate hall 4 dinner shez anerexic ok??? dats y shez so hot n skinny n pale so de3l wid it!!!!!!) I turned on my gothic black Cute Is What We Aim For camera iPod and let the sweet depressing sounds of "This Ain't A Scene, It's An Arms Race" lull me to slumber.

When I finally awoke, it was roughly 3 in the morning, opportune time to snag a student in a younger year who was wandering around the halls. They made a delicious snack, but just warmed me up for the main course: slutty preps who were out at night doing it with their boyfriends sneaking back into their common rooms. I saw a preppy girl in a pink sweatsuit who had made fun of my friend Morbidia Bloodyheart Raven Smith (AN: alex dis iz u!!!!!!) named Jessica. We had flipped her off gothically, and she had gasped, but it was not enough. I had to have her blood. I crept up behind her, and prepared to bite her hideous fake-tanned skank neck, but as I went to do so, my head hit something. I was dazed, and Jessica had run off at the sound of the hit. I looked up and saw… DRACO MALFOY!!!!!!

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fangs 4 redin my stoty u guys!!!!! I hop u lyk it itz my 1st published stori altho my 8th grad techer mr. losevelt sed dat i shudtry 2 get stuf done kuz im a good wrytter I have n intresteng way (geddit way lik gerard way and mikey way frm mcr!!!!) of outtng wordz 2getha!!!! n e waiz revieqw ok???? I lyk redin da reveiwz but im still not tarta ok??? im mary ramembrer!!!!!! Fangzzzzzzz 2 avernth n ales mi beffz 4 eva!!!! mwah luv u guyz


	3. chap 3

AN: lol ok u guyz wuteva u say about my sppelin is dum cuz I hav gud spelin n 2 prov it I did dis chap widout da hlp of avernth n alwx so u kan jus c how gud I am!!!!!!! n ya dis iz n neglish i am frm da us i m frim weshinfton stat ok???? fangz 2 akex avernth n amndasa (geddit aaa kunda lyk 666!!!) I luv u guyz muah!!!!!!!!!

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wut r u doin heer draco ur sposded 2 b n bed!!!!! i sed 2 sexy draco. im a perfekt duhhhh wut r u dum i kan b ouyt a my rom wenevr i wana b ldyia ok????? retributed draco. oh ok i respektd goffikaly. hey wut r u doin here he said bak 2 me. i dint want him 2 no i wuz a vampier even tho hez goth n wolud luv vimpz so i just ssed dat i wuz hungry n wuz lukin 4 a snak (which inst a lie cuz i wuz but da bsnak wuz blud lol) n cudnt fin da entrense 2 da kichenz. he jus sed oh ok vry sexylike but stil luked at me lyk mayb dere wuz sumthin rong but i new he wuold nevaa no my sekrtet/. i wuz afrade dat he wood cum bak n c me thinkin abuout him lyk i wuz so i went bak uo 2 mi rom n set n mi koffin 4 a lilbit wear i wud wate ntil it wuz a lil latr. n our pased bi n i disuated dat i wuz gona go bak out 4 anotha tri at fedin. it wuz onli 4 so mayb dere wold b ppl out or sumfin. i sawe a prety grl wid long lengthly blak darlk raven hair. it wuz demetra morta deathpain chang. hur nam usd 2 b cho but she trund goffik n now she wuz kool. she wuz werin a blak goawffik gc shirt blak lethrer pantz wif chans n blukls on dem n fishnetsz on hr armz. hur make up wuz whit fundashiun blak lipskitck thik blak iliner n goffik black blush. i was goin 2 say fangz 2 her 4 her helo in our geograficly clas but what i saw sended me in2 a goffik shok lyk i havnt felt sinz (AN: geddit cos ima statenist!!!!!) simple plan did dat song 4 da skoby du s-track. dat movy wuz 4 prepz!!!!!! newaiz she wuz guna get bite bi a vamp!!!! it wuz DRACO MALFOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wut r u doin heer draco ur sposded 2 b n bed!!!!!!!!!!! i shotted 2 sexy draco. he shyed awai frm demetra n lukd at mi closly he sed i ned blud. i gaspd cos he wuz a vamp 2. i sed im a vamp 2 2 him he gaspd goffikally. he luked n2 mi eyez n sed i no u r mi tru luv now. i luv u n i wil 4 eva so letz go 2 mi rom n do it ok? ok i sed despressdly.

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i hop u guyz lyk it cos i did it al by myslf!!!!!!11! next chap iz guna b a sexy chap ok!!!!!!!!!!!!! fangs 4 redin i luv u guyz!!!!!!!!!!! muah!1!!!!! xtra fangz 2 ittai my fav jew budy evn tho hez a jew lolol id hav babyz wid u but im a lez!!!!!!!! muah!!!!!!


	4. chap 4

AN: ok u guyz wuteva u h8erz u r al pozrz n prepz if u dun lyk it den dun redaed it ok???/? fangz 2 da kool ppl lyk avernth (luv u!!!!!!) al3zx akmdanda n jk0sh i luv u guys al. n oh ya wtf r u tlkin abot poe 4??? im nut hm but thnksz 4 thnkin i am kuz hez kol n goffik n ded lyk i wish i wuz. fangzzzz 4 redin!!!!!!!!11!!

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Draco led my by the arm to his room, brushing against me lightly every so often, igniting my passion for him.

We got to his room, and there, we totally did it.

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c dint i tel u it wuz guna b sexie????!??!?! next chap wil hav evn more stemy stuf n it ok so kep redin for sum hawott akshkhuin ok?????!!!

fangZZZZZZ!!!!!!!!!!!! muah!!!!!!!!!!!!!


	5. chap 5

AN: hay guyz sry 4 bein gon 4 so lung im takin mi englsh n hisrty clases at college so i hav lotz of stuff 2 do 4 da end of da qurter!!!!!!!!!!! xtra fangz 2 avernth akl3x n amsndq 4 hlp wit da stroiy n da spelin!!!!!1!!!! lyuv u guyz ok?????????? muah!!!!!!

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o ps u guyz dis iz a songfic 2 da song 'sugr were goin down' by fob!!!!! i dun own dis song but den 4 dat matr i dun own hp byt i luv da bopth of dem!!!! fagz 4 redin!!!!!!

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_Am I more than you bargained for yet  
I've been dying to tell you anything you want to hear  
_

Ever since Draco and I had been intimate, things had going very well. Gothically well. It was like we had known each other all of our incredibly depressing lives. We walked down the corridors together, knowing that all of those stupid preps at school were jealous of how incredibly hot, dark and brooding we looked with each other. Not to mention, we knew each other's secret: vampirism. We took to the halls at night, stalking for blood, black-nailed fingers laced together. On this particular night, I was stuck hunting for nourishment by myself. Draco had told me that he was going to be busy with some incredibly gothic things, so I left him alone. I was walking down the halls listening to my super kawaii (AN: dat iz jap 4 kute ok???????) black and blood red Cute Is What We Aim For camera iPod. Suddenly, I heard a noise coming from the other end of the hall!

_Cause that's just who I am this week  
Lie in the grass, next to the mausoleum_

Actually, turns out it was just Magicianina Hermaphrodite Blackface Gloomita Johnson. Her name used to be Hermione Granger, but she found out that her dirty disgusting muggle parents had stolen her from her real family, who were gothic vampires.

"Hey Magicianina, what's up?" I shot at her.

"Oh, not much, Lydia. Mostly hanging out and drinking some prep blood. Hey, do you wanna chill somberly in the common room later tonight and watch The Nightmare Before Christmas or some other gothic depressing movie? I'd hang out with Damian but he said he's hanging out with Draco tonight." projectiled Magicianina. [AN: diamon iz haryz new nam sinc he is gopffik ok?????

"OH MY SATAN. Draco lied to me! He said that he was going to be held up with some impressive gothic business, but he's just hanging out with Damian!!!!!!!!" I explained.

"Oh. That sucks. Maybe we should just crash their party, huh?" said Magicianina, quite deceptively.

"That's a good idea bitch. Maybe we can make them wish that they'd spend their time with us rather than each other. I'm thinking a little visual stimulation." I said sexily whilst winking lustily.

"Exactly what I meant." she replied kinkily.

_I'm just a notch in your bedpost  
But you're just a line in a song_

We had decided that we were going to dress up sluttily for our respective boyfriends. Magicianina put her long blood red hair that had black streaks in it up in a sexy bun. She was wearing a goth black leather corset thing that said "goffik gurl" all over it in bloody red letters. For her bottoms, she was wearing a sexy gothic schoolgirl skirt that was black and red to intensify her extremely gothic hair. She was also wearing red tights that said "slut" and "beyotch" in a large gothic font all over them. Over those she wore a pair of black stiletto pointy boots that showed off how pale she was. Her makeup was black eyeshadow and black eyeliner that went in ornate swirly shapes around her eye, and blood red lipstick. I was wearing a sexy black gothic lace corset and a matching thong and over that I wore a skankish knee-length sheer black trenchcoat. I wore dark purple, almost black but not because it was purple but I wanted the purple to be very dark so it almost looked black so that it could be gothic but it wasn't black fishnets with black Converse as shoes. My makeup was black lipstick and thick dark gothic eyeliner. We looked sexy and morbid.

_Drop a heart, break a name  
We're always sleeping in and sleeping for the wrong team_

We were totally ready to go see our boys. They were going to be so surprised! We looked good. We knew it, and soon they would. It took us about five minutes to walk to Draco's private chambers that he received for being Head Boy. I tapped quietly at the door. There were muffled noises coming from inside. It was just Draco, so I rudely as well as Gothically barged in. What I saw shocked and horrified my gothic mind.

There were Draco and Damian, in the throes of passionate, faggoty lovemaking.

"OH MY SATAN." I screamed gothically.

"OH MY _FUCKING_ SATAN." Magicianina had walked in, obviously.

We were so shocked that we didn't notice as our Potions professor, Snappleus Snewp walked in.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN HERE YOU FUCKING DUNDERHEADS? FUCKKKKK!!!!!!" shrieked Professor Snewp.

All of our eyes slowly turned to meet the angry eyes of our professor.

"DAMIAN POTTER AND DRACO MALFOY, YOU FAGS! GET YOUR IGNORANT ASS LOVING ASSES INTO THE HEADMASTER'S OFFICE! PROFESSOR DUMBLYDONK SHALL BE WANTING A WORD WITH YOU NOW!!!!!!!"

_We're going down, down in an earlier round  
And Sugar, we're going down swinging  
I'll be your number one with a bullet  
A loaded God complex, cock it and pull it_

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AN: o no!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! wut iz lydia guna do?????????? wut iz drsco n dsmoinz ralashunship????? r dey jus doin it r do dey luv each otter? fidn out nxt tim!!!!!!

dun u jus h8 clifhangrz:P fangs 4 redin i luv u guiz!!!!!!!!!! muah!!!!!!!!1!!!


	6. chap 6

AN: ok u rud ppl wuz dat las chap gud enuf 4 u????? onli oprepz h8 diz kuz i m a gud writr ok?????????? fangs 2 da kewliest kidz, avernth ak;lexz n aszmsnda u guys all rok n so duz fob!!!!! lmao luv u guiz 4 eva ok????????? muah!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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There we were, sitting humiliated in Professor Dumblydonk's office. Damian and Draco kept shooting each other these vile, furtive gothic glances at each other. They disgusted me! How could Draco lie to me, and cheat with that stupid poser prep Damian? I knew right then that I would hate Draco for the rest of my life.

"Hey Lydia, I didn't mean it okay?" said Draco.

"Oh, okay. I love you." I replied gothily.

"THAT'S ENOUGH TALKING YOU FUCKING MORONIC MORONS!" screamed Snewp. "THE HEADMASTER AND PROFESSOR MACGALAXIA ARE HERE TO KICK YOUR ASSES YOU TWERPY LITTLE FAGGOTS!"

"Hey, shut the fuck up, Snappleus. I'm not doing anything to these kids." interjectalated Macgalaxia.

Professor Maternity Macgalaxia was really cool. She was wearing a short black gothic PVC dress and black fishnets and black platform boots with buckles that were shaped like the Slipknot logo. Atop her head was a gothic black hat with little planets and Marilyn Manson paintings in blood all over it. Her long ebony hair that had dark blue streaks in it was pulled up into two little buns in the sides of her head and she was wearing white foundation, red eyeshadow with black cat's eye eyeliner and also blue lipstick. Her face looked like a sexy gothic American flag. She was a goth just like us, and unfortunately the head of the Gryffindor house. We forgave her for that though. She taught us science but we didn't really have to do science, she let us do our makeup and listen to deep gothic music like GC and Marilyn Manson. She was awesome and gothic and could turn into a gothic black cat and we loved her.

Professor Snewp was the biggest fucking prep ever. He was a total douchebag poser, and he looked like it too. He was wearing a hot pink and black button-up shirt from Abercrombie and a pair of Diesel jeans. His hair was all spiked up into a fauxhawk and he was wearing a studded black belt. We all knew that he was a fake. One time I walked past his private chambers to go to Geometry and I heard him listening to Ashlee Simpson!

"Why is there all of this hostility? Can't we all just love each other?" peacefully yelled Dumblydonk.

"NO WE CAN'T! NOT WHEN THESE HORNY SIMPLETONS ARE GOING AROUND PUTTING THEIR YOU-KNOW-WHATS INTO THEIR YOU-KNOW-WHERES! FUCKFUCKFUCK!" shot Snewp. What an ass.

"That will certainly be enough of THAT, Snappleus." passively shouted Dumblydonk.

"I quite agree, Dumblydonk. Snappleus, don't be such a jerkass!" Macgalaxia gothtastically expelled.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU FUCKING FUCKERS TALKING ABOUT?! FUUUUUUCK!" shrieked Snewp.

Dumblydonk looked at Snappleus as if he was insane. "Snappleus, you are here in my office to discuss a proper punishment for these two boys cavorting. That is all."

"WHY SHOULD WE BE IN TROUBLE?" shorted Damian. "We didn't do anything wrong."

"OH, BUT YOU FUCKING DID, MR. POTTER. YOU WERE TWO WERE FUCKING FUCKING YOU FUCKING FUCKFACE!!!! FUCK!!!!!" calmly explained Snewp.

"BUT… BUT… I LOVE DRACO!!! THAT MAKES IT OKAY!!!" stated Damian.

"AGH!!!!!! I HATE YOU, YOU… Y-YOU… YOU FAG!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" screamed Magicianina, running out of the room, weeping dark gothic tears.

"No. Stop. Don't." said Damian, quite like he had no emotion at the time. Not quite emotionlessly, because he had some emotion, but it wasn't too emotional, like he felt something, but it still wasn't up to a real emotional level because he wasn't really feeling much, but I still couldn't call it emotionless, because that would be a lie, now wouldn't it? (AN: c if mi charz wur dum den dey wod not fel lyk dey r doin ruite now!!!!)

"FUCKING I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!" fucking yelled Snewpfuck. "YOU TWO FUCKING FUCKFUCKFUCK FUCKBITCHES ARE NOT IN MY HOUSE ANYMORE!!!!! SLYTHERYN DOESN'T WANT ANY QUEERS!!!!!! YOU FAGS ARE IN GRYFFINDOR NOW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! So, please, Mr. Potter, my fine gentleman, will you proceed with Professor Macgalaxia to your new dormitory? I trust you will find it to your liking. Mr. Malfoy, you shall be staying in your old chambers. I do hope you enjoy it. Good day, sirs and madams." And with that, Snappleus returned to his chambers in the center of the Earth.

"We have to go to Gryffindor?!" blurtificated Damian and Draco at the same time.

"They have to go to Gryffindor?!" I blurtificated.

"What?" blurtificated Macgalaxia.

"LEMON DROPS!!!" blurtificated Dumblydonk.

And so, we all left to our dormitories, my relationship with Draco now a true gothic tragedy.

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AN: ded u giz lyk it??!??!? i tink dat mi fave carectr iz prob sn3wop hi rly reminz me of me lol. fangz 2 da ppl stil rewdin n 2 mi frnfdz i luv u guuoyz!!!!!!!!!!1!!! muah!!!!!


	7. chap 7

AN: ok i gota giv mi propz 2 da ppl i luv!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! avrebnth saklexz n asmsnfda i luv u guiz n thz 4 da hlp wid da speeln n da gramer ok?????????? i luv u guyz n u r da bst lyk fob!!!!!!!!!!!!1!!!! fagz [lol geddit lyk fangz cos ima vamp but i mad t fagz lyk dressco n diamon loll 4 da rederz hu r redin stil i luv u guiz n u imspir me 2 do suxh gud writein!!!!!!!!! i lyuve u guyz so plz kep redin ok?!?!?!??!/?!? muah!!!!!!!!!!

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I couldn't believe it. Draco had walked sexily away from me, and acted like he didn't hear Damian say that he loved him. I, however, HAD heard it, and I was going to do something about it. Something gothic.

"DAMIAN POTTER, YOU MOTHERFUCKER!" I shooted in a gothic manner.

"What do you want, Lydia? I'm busy relocating to my new house, because of YOU. All Gryffindors are fucking preps, you know that. If you wouldn't have been so nosy we wouldn't have been caught and I could still stay in my gothic dorm with Hellblaze Batface Satanito Zombini, who has a blood red mohawk with black streaks in it and a pallid gothic face (AN: dat uiz blaz zamnboini ok???????? and my other roommate, Dracula Gloomswamp Deathpale Lee (AN: joisgh diz oiz u ok??????? ) who has dark black gothic hair with gothic blood red streaks in it, kind of like an opposite version of Hellblaze, but not, because Hellblaze has a gothic/punk mohawk and Dracula has normal longish gothic hair, but it is still pretty much the same thing, with the exception of the fact that Dracula has normal longish gothic hair and Hellblaze has a gothic/punk mohawk kind of the same colors of Dracula's normal longish gothic hair except that it's reversed colors okay?! " shot Damian quite bleakly.

"Yeah, whatever, Damian. I know your little secret. I know how you used to be in Gryffindor, HARRY. You're such a poser; you're not really goth at all. If you don't leave Draco alone, I'm going to spread that bit of gossip around, and everyone will know what a fake you are," I said to him sexily as well as angrily.

Damian's face dropped, and he looked even more depressed than usual, which was hard to do, since he already looked really, really depressed.

"Okay. Deal," said Damien as he walked somberly away. "But… I do love him, you know."

I flipped around with my mouth open, poised to gothically scream at him, but he was gone.

"Ugh, what a stupid fucking prep," I thought, turning to go back to my dorm.

"WAIT! LYDIIIIIIIAAAAAAAAAAA!" someone behind me shrieked gothically.

It was Kitty Phantom Bat Helena Bones. Her name used to be Susan Bones, but then she became gothic and cool and changed her name to Kitty Phantom Bat Helena Bones because she is gothic and cool. She was very pale, like as pale as gothic chalk or something. She has very depressing black hair down to her knees. That day her makeup was white foundation, red eyeshadow and black lipstick, making her lips look incredibly gothic. She was wearing a tight blood red black corset with anarchy signs on it, a black tutu with bloody red Simple Plan logos on it and big clunky black six-inch heeled boots with lots and lot of gothic buckles on them. She was really mean to everyone but us fellow goths and we all loved her because she wasn't a poser, even though she did have an Avril Lavigne CD one time, but she said her sister accidentally put it in the CD player.

"I heard about Draco getting caught with Damian. Snewp is in the corridors screaming about it. Are you okay?" asked Kitty in a morbidly concerned tone.

"Yeah, I'm okay, I guess. It was just… I don't know what to do. I love Draco, but I am apparently not enough for him!" I spat angrily and gothically.

"You must not have really been paying attention for the past few years you have been here then. Him and Damien have had something going on for a long time. They have some weird sort of love, you know? They break up all the time, and Draco tries to date girls, to make sure he can gain his inheritance, from what I'm to understand. I'd try to move on you know, you're worth more than that Lydia," said Kitty systematically.

"Yeah… yeah, you're right! I need to try to move on. He's not worth my time or effort! Thanks Kitty!" I hugged Kitty and ran to my dorm gothically.

SKIP AHEAD TWO GOTHIC HOURS

I was crying. Crying gothic bloody tears. I loved Draco, and no matter what anyone said, I was going to be upset. I mean, what would you do if your boyfriend was fucking some other boy? Of course he was bi, he was gothic, but you don't do that kind of thing when you say that you love somebody! I couldn't do anything about it but wait for the next gloomy day, when I could confront Draco about his past with Damian and his future with me.

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ok how du u l;yk diz 1??/???? i tink we wil hav 2 c wut lyfdia wil do abvout drasco n dsamian. it mite b a wilke til i psot mor stolrie kuz it iz allmoist xmas duhhhhhh!!!!!1!! plz kuntinu 2 red mi sdtrie i luv recvieqws!!!!!!!!! fangz acvcerntgh alkklex n annmandsasa i luv u all u rok n so duz fob!!!!!!!!!!!! muah!!!!!11!!!!!!!!!!!!


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